I got a wonderful comment yesterday, what made it great (apart from the fact that this wonderful person called me “incredibly talented”) was the fact that they expressed an interest in knowing who I actually am. Yes, I have my doubts, since this is the first time somebody wants to know who I am *weeps silently*, but I realised how important it was to let people know who I think I am.
So, Here is a list of a few things which I believe every reader of mine should know about me.
1. When you enter my room (not that I am asking you to) there is one particular spot on the wall which is of historical importance in my life. I would say it is the Peepal tree in the process of my enlightenment. Years later, when tour guides take people around my house, they will definitely point at this spot and say
” This is where Winky Spider used to scribble on the wall” and there will be some story of the genius I was even as a child. but like all tour guides and there stories, they will be mistaken. For that is the place where my parents got me to stand every summer for measuring my height. For the first decade or so, I was a wonder growing in huge increments but to the shock of my parents, I think it was around my 14th birthday that the Gods decided to make me a living example of “Good things come in Small packages.” After scratching the wall for several years at the same mark of 5 feet 2 inches, my parents decided to start a fund in my name, for the purchase of the essential high heeled shoes.
2. I have the unique talent of figuring in controversies without saying or even typing a word. If you meet any person of my family from my ancient grandfather to my little cousin brother, do not ask them about Winky Spider because I don’t think they even remember me. One little tip, ask them about the person who they “think” led to the most recent fight in the family. Voila! they will direct you right to me.
3. I am so bad at sports that I gave it up for the sake of humanity. My parents tried a number of sports because they were optimistic that every person is good at something (they still believe that, they have just stopped counting me as a person)
a. Anything to do with a ball – I have a weird problem, I close my eyes whenever a ball is thrown towards me. I think in my previous life I must have been killed in a freak ball accident, so my eyes just close, so that I don’t have to witness my own death. I wonder why my instincts couldn’t have taught me to catch a ball with precision?
b. Anything to do with running- No, I trip on my own feet and have been proclaimed to be a public hazard. So that ended my career there.
c. Swimming- Absolutely failed at that one, when I refused to budge from the children’s pool to the main one, the instructor gently explained to my mother how all kids were special but that I didn’t seem to be really special in swimming.
4. I make silly choices sometimes- Like years ago I had a pet rabbit and I wanted to get a sibling for it. What I didn’t know was that there is a thing called “food chain” and so I got a neighbourhood cat as a big sister for it. That ended badly and all I can say is that I was left with a single child and a scarred conscience.
5. I come from a long line of killjoys, spirit dampening ancestors, who would have 3 heart attacks in a row if they knew that a “girl” in their family was blogging away in the dark world. And knowing how fatal this can be to their oil and butter soaked heart, I prefer to remain anonymous.
Okay I think I have pulled out enough skeletons from my closet for one day.I think you know enough about me now, right?