I may just become the world’s youngest grandmother…..

Right, I am officially going to become the world’s youngest grandmother I think . Dear Ms. Cat is pregnant, and she tells me only when her stomach has grown to the size of a melon. Here, I was worrying about my interview and there she gave me the worst shock, the parent of any teenager can have! I know fellow internet addicts love lists and so just for them here is my list of  reasons why this situation has bowled me over.

  1. To think I could in a couple of days become a grandmother to 5-6 kittens is deeply disturbing, to think my cat found her soulmate before me is horrendous even worse what if it was a one night thing, to think she has such standards being an Indian!
  1. She has shaken my faith from children, she is after all 7 months old and has the word “baby” written all over her. I can still remember her being born and now this, it basically shows one cannot even leave children alone nowadays.
  1. The father is nowhere to be seen, I guess responsibility and men are miles apart. But that basically means I am a single grandmother supporting a single mother with multiple children.
  1. The 2 other male cats in my house come nowhere near this would be mom. Is it because even in cat society a large oversized woman is considered unattractive (hypocrites!) or is the father right in front and trying to hide from the spotlight?
  1. My budget is now going to be non-existent, 3 cats+5-6 kittens in a third world country basically hints at an impending financial crisis.
  1. Are there any takers for Indian feral kittens? Are they taken up just as easily as Persian kittens would be? Specially because I take no guarantee for their behaviour, they might just kick, scratch and even steal your money ( we live in the area where Indian politicians live, the father of these kittens could well be a part of a major money laundering scheme that is pushing India towards the status of the 4th world country)
  1. I have watched back to back episodes of ’16 and pregnant’ and ‘teen mom’ to gain an understanding of the role of the mum of  the teenage pregnant cat, however, rather than becoming more experienced, I guess I have earned my father’s suspicions. Why on Earth was his daughter watching about teenage pregnancies?
  1. What if my grand children ask “granny, what do you do?” I don’t think blogging counts for much in the cat society (or for that matter even in human society) and do I hide my application to medical school.
  1. When I was born my grandmother gave me loads of gold and this has continued even till date. I remember telling this to Ms. Cat, shit! Is that why I saw her cleaning her box today. I really don’t have the money to buy her a golden catnip.
  1. Am I supposed to stand right beside Ms.Cat and wipe her face when she goes into labour? I have had no particular experience with labour pain and delivery, all I know about it is from those glitzy movies, where the father is supposed to stand right beside and scream “push, push”. I really am not sure if this would be the right thing to say to her provided I have no idea of cat physiology and I may turn up screaming “push,push” when the right call would be “pull, pull”. Thus, leading to further complications.

Do not get me wrong, I was actually fed up of these mature cats in my house, trying to prove how outdated I am and the prospect of having these little kitties in my house seems enchanting but then becoming a grandmother is an exhausting thing, don’t shake your head granny, I wasn’t half as bad!

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4 comments

  1. Mmmmmmm. A spider grandmother to kittens. (LOL). Love your writing style. Reminds me a little bit of my own. Good luck with the kitties. I’m sending you tons of cyber kitty litter. Hugs, Lorlinda

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