Month: March 2014

Presenting Mr.Cat…..

 

 

           When I dream, its of melody in trance,

            of angels in rat-suits with tails that dance.
             
           When I dream, its of amity and peace,

            of stout fishes with burly nephews and niece.

           When I dream, its neither too hot nor too cold,

           its of gay birds neither too chirpy nor too bold.

            When I dream, its too blissful an expanse,
  
           that’s when I realize its all just a trance.
      

Neighbour gazing: To watch and not to be watched.

night

What is the one good thing about living in an apartment? for me, it is the entertainment one can derive from gazing at those shining yellow rooms against the dark background of the night. This is why God created settlements and not television (that was actually a folly of man). Why pay the cable people money when you have “desperate housewives” right next door. I remember on my 6th birthday, my aunt got me an astronomical telescope, the kind that looks huge enough to give a feel of NASA. I was ecstatic, after hours of labour I was able to have a good look at the moon. I even saw the wrinkles on the supermodel-ish face of our moon. Period. The next time, again the same wrinkles. That was when boredom/curiousity got the better of me. I decided to focus instead on our neighbour’s window, after all, what could change in the moon, I don’t think any OLAY anti wrinkle cream has been invented for it.

Anyways, this was a historical landmark in the history of my life. That was when I realised how queer and interesting human behaviour can be. There is so much fun in seeing your neighbour’s dog devour their pillows, when they are not around or seeing your fellow dweller’s mother-in- law inspect her cupboard when her daughter-in-law is out partying and in case you are wondering why the curtains were not put up. Well, first of all, India is a tropical country, where it becomes imperative to let fresh air come in and also to let the houseflies fly out and you may also attribute it to my luck but incidentally, all the houses I have ever targeted have drawn the curtains aside at some point of time to let me have a good look.

So, when I went to my grandmother’s house this month. I was astounded by the number of apartments that had crept up around her house since I had last visited. It was like paradise to me. Aah, the companion to my insomnia. The wonderful views I had, of people doing different things at the same time. Of people working late into the night, alone at the desk, doing God knows what on the computer. So, when my grandmother said:

“Darling, draw the curtains when you change, who knows who might be looking.”

 all I could think was “does she even know me!”

So, this is when I let you on a little secret. I have the habit of coming into my room in a towel after I shower. In case it is too hot, I also like to lie on the bed with the fan on at top speed and to let the water evaporate. This is a poor man’s alternative to air conditioning. Anyways, back to my grandmother’s house and long story short, it was hot and I forgot about other creeps like me who had telescopes. So, there I was in a towel offering a 360 degree view to fellow gazers.

The very next day, a group of people came over to visit my grandparents and they asked if my granny had guests because they believed they had seen some activity in the house. I never ventured out, I was afraid that mole on my shoulder would have given me out. I am an Indian woman, I have to hold on to my dignity.

So, I have now become the victim of neighbour gazing. The subject of a fellow resident’s scrutiny, the partner to their boredom. In case you people, think this was Karma that let me down. You better bite your tongue. I am the most ethical gazer you will ever find. Here is how:

1. I have never focused my powerful telescope on a neighbour’s bathroom, that is one place where everybody deserves privacy. Their have been some yummy people I would have loved to have a look at in the shower but I have never compromised on my morality.

2. My brother (a testosterone charged teenager) would have loved to look at our neighbour’s daughter in her bedroom, he fortunately cannot yet focus my telescope and has to call for help from me to set him up. I always ethically focus the telescope at the girl’s grandmother’s room. Talk about being righteous.

Reality check: my gran’s neighbours now know me as the girl in the towel with the mole on the shoulder.  Yeah, I am a girl of perseverance, this cannot stop me from neighbour gazing, in the era of facebooking, neighbour gazing is a dying art and it cannot afford to lose a proponent like me. Oh, the divine art of neighbour gazing and even though I cannot find a suitable ending for this post, my message is now given. Over and Out.

A new rejection letter in my store and a new cow as my alter ego!

Sometimes in life drastic changes take place suddenly. When you are least expecting it, it comes as a jolt to the soul. Today, the most important thing that I saw was a cow with black and white spots, running on a road packed with vehicles, kicking dust in the air in her flight. It isn’t the rarest thing to find a cow on the road in India. I think they have been given the task of traffic control by the police, because if there is chaos on the road, vehicles with blaring horns, a traffic cop will definitely be nearby but if the traffic is sailing smoothly, search not for the cop but rest assured the cow will be there.  So why is this cow important to me? Not only because her huge stomach lilting in the air was a troubling sight but also because she made me realise how similar we were (with no regard to physical appearance)

The other important thing today, was that I got a rejection letter from one of the 4 universities I had applied to (a pre-interview rejection, leaving me with just one awaiting result)

 When my father (who was driving) saw the cow, the first thought he had was “she is going against the cars, this is gonna be rough!” and then “she is going to delay us now.” What I saw however was a child running from something, scared.

When I received the rejection letter, I pretty soon realized that I might have to pursue my backup plan. Take up an alternative course for graduation and then try medicine again. When I voiced this, the first thought my father had was “she is going for the harder path, this is gonna be rough!” and then “this might delay our plans for a golden future”. What I felt however was the inexplicable need to run, I knew I was scared.

And that is when it hit me how similar we were. We both were going against the tides and had the potential to delay somebody’s plans.

Maybe the cow was burdened by her owner’s desire to make her the most milk yielding one. Maybe I am burdened by my father’s desire to make me successful. Anyhow, we both were burdened and we both had owners!

Maybe she realised that her horns were growing slower than the neighbour’s cow and here I am worried that my career is not progressing the way that I had thought.

Quite possibly, she had been deserted or lost midway, running frantically to reach her destination which was so far away. The moment I received the rejection letter, I felt deserted. My destination was miles away and here I was stranded midway.

How sad should one be when the realisation dawns that your alter ego is but a cow? I wasn’t because in her I found what I have always wanted to be, adaptable and self-sufficient. She was but navigating smoothly through the cars that blared their horns. Some cars they stopped to let her pass, others just sailed past often brushing against her, others missed hitting her by inches. But she survived with the grace of a dancer, throwing zig-zags and what bigger happiness then seeing your alter ego thrive.

I wish I could have shared my rejection with my soul sister. Dear cow, you are what enlightenment looks like, minus the lengthy meditation period. Different people take different things from the same situation. At the moment, what looks like “rough” to others, might just be our chance to grow and I am glad that even when we are swimming against the tides, we still remain the people who struggle and labour ahead, in the search of better pastures. We are  the ones who inadvertently catch attention. You go girl!

Also, dear cow you re-enforced my belief in the deceptive nature of appearances. You were in terms of age, a baby but nowhere were you the kind of miniscule a baby should be!  It took me quite some time to come to terms with the sheer discrepancy in your dimensions and your age. Not your fault, it seems discrepancy was the word god had in mind while creating the world which is why I ended up applying to universities which weren’t even wise enough to discern a talented girl like me from the applicant pool.  

Anyhow I am pretty confident that we shall meet again, the next time we meet, you would have grown into a beautiful cow with big horns and a humongous source of milk and lean meat, as for me if all else fails, well I guess I will still be writing this blog.