Musings of a demented spider

A biology student facing an economic issue spells “S-H-I-T”…..

 A typical conversation I have with my parents when on a vacation in India.

Me: I really want to go the beach/forest/hillside, the resort is organizing a tour in the morning for families, about 100 rupees per person. Are you guys coming?

Mom: The beach/forest/hillside? Too many/much fish/insects/snow in there, book a package but I don’t think I will go, you two can go.

Dad: Actually we could go, they have wonderful snacks/snacks/snacks there. We could have some tea and snacks you know.

Me: Well, they charge an extra 100 per person for snacks and tea, you want me to book it as well?

Dad: I mean, we are going so far, we might as well have something to eat, right?

Mom: Do they have shops nearby? I could buy something while you people roam….

Dad: No they don’t, only the really cheap ones, I don’t think they are worth visiting.

Okay so now I am in the United Kingdom and below is the conversation I have  with my parents in Her Majesty’s land:

Dad: 1 pound = 100 rupees, say that atleast 5 times a day

Me:  I really want to go the beach/forest/hillside, the resort is organizing a tour in the morning for families, about 100 pounds  per person. Are you guys coming?

Mom: Mom: The beach/forest/hillside? Too many/much fish/insects/snow in there, book a package but I don’t think I will go.

Dad: 1 pound= 100 rupees. Actually none of us are going. After all they charge extra for Snacks there. And like I said 1 pound= 100 rupees.

Me: They charge an extra 10 pound for snacks and tea, I could book it you know..

Dad: You don’t understand do you 1 pound= 100 rupees. After all have we come so far only to eat?

Mom: Do they have shops nearby? I could buy something while you people roam….

Dad: No they don’t, only the really costly  ones, I don’t think they are worth visiting after all 1 pound= 100 rupees.

So, yesterday I had to explore the city (where I have come for my interview) on my mortal legs, more than the exploration of the city, what I really explored was the limits of the pieces of flesh that I call “legs”.  Not there fault, after all when God created them, he didn’t know that 1 pound = 100 rupees. So, there I was dragging my wooden legs on the roads of a city which might reject me in one go. Ruining my chances of ever coming there again as an undergraduate. So with that bleak prospect looming above my head, did I enjoy my first ever stint at ” tourism on legs”? Not really!

There are two things I learnt from yesterday,

1. A biology student like me facing an economic crisis of the order of “1 pound= 100 rupees” does not fare well- To say that I thought about hiring a taxi or getting on a bus every 10 seconds, is but a huge understatement. Our ancestors made wheels, the least we can do for them is to use it.  Every tourist site is but a comma in the sentence of a tourist’s journey, pause there, gulp some water, have something to eat and start again. The message Darwin left behind for biologists was ” The fittest shall survive” ( actually Herbert Spencer said that, but I am sure he doesn’t mind),  but who actually is the fittest? not the one who drags wooden legs on the road for sure. As a good enough biologist trudging in the chilly cold weather, the only crisis I was thinking about was the fatal hypothermic shock I was bound to have thanks to the pound-rupee conversion ratio.

2. Industrialisation can be really mean- In my tour around the city, I encountered numerous eateries selling hot pizzas and soups. All of them blatantly advertising their rates in pounds, did anyone there know that 1 pound = 100 rupees or did they care enough to close their windows whilst the girl with the wooden leg dragged herself on the road? No, they didn’t. Trust me the one thing worst than passing a hotel with a hungry stomach is passing the hotel with a hungry stomach with the aroma of food wafting through your nose.I tell you the dogs in these first world countries are really hyped, imagine them galloping through the streets in cars while a two legged bitch with wooden legs drags herself on the road. 

No don’t get me wrong, this city is picturesque, the kind where things seem to be drowsy and slow and yet life paces swiftly ahead. To savour it is one good thing that could come out of this interview trip. The only problem with me is that I have the soul of an 80 year old monk, remotely connected to all things urban. Aah, my soul deserves another blog post but for now I think it suffices to say that the “gawk and walk” policy of holidaying is not meant for me and dear parents, if you are reading this let me tell you that 1 pound is not just 100 rupees but also 100 bruises and cramps.

 

I love you…..

I love you without rhyme without reason,

sometimes against time,

sometimes against season

oft alone yet never alone,

Sometimes with dusk,

sometimes with dawn

part a trepid, part a fawn,

I love you against rhyme against reason.

Against joy against harm,

sometimes too cold

sometimes warm

Oft alone yet never alone

sometimes like a bird soaring high,

sometimes like a sigh

I love you against rhyme against reason

Sometimes too far,

sometimes nigh,

Sometimes a devil, sometimes too shy

I love you against rhyme against reason

Against souls,against life

against all wrath,against all strife

Against all miseries,

against all hope

Against all troubles

against all dope

Oft alone,yet never alone

I love you for rhyme for reason…….