Sometimes in life drastic changes take place suddenly. When you are least expecting it, it comes as a jolt to the soul. Today, the most important thing that I saw was a cow with black and white spots, running on a road packed with vehicles, kicking dust in the air in her flight. It isn’t the rarest thing to find a cow on the road in India. I think they have been given the task of traffic control by the police, because if there is chaos on the road, vehicles with blaring horns, a traffic cop will definitely be nearby but if the traffic is sailing smoothly, search not for the cop but rest assured the cow will be there. So why is this cow important to me? Not only because her huge stomach lilting in the air was a troubling sight but also because she made me realise how similar we were (with no regard to physical appearance)
The other important thing today, was that I got a rejection letter from one of the 4 universities I had applied to (a pre-interview rejection, leaving me with just one awaiting result)
When my father (who was driving) saw the cow, the first thought he had was “she is going against the cars, this is gonna be rough!” and then “she is going to delay us now.” What I saw however was a child running from something, scared.
When I received the rejection letter, I pretty soon realized that I might have to pursue my backup plan. Take up an alternative course for graduation and then try medicine again. When I voiced this, the first thought my father had was “she is going for the harder path, this is gonna be rough!” and then “this might delay our plans for a golden future”. What I felt however was the inexplicable need to run, I knew I was scared.
And that is when it hit me how similar we were. We both were going against the tides and had the potential to delay somebody’s plans.
Maybe the cow was burdened by her owner’s desire to make her the most milk yielding one. Maybe I am burdened by my father’s desire to make me successful. Anyhow, we both were burdened and we both had owners!
Maybe she realised that her horns were growing slower than the neighbour’s cow and here I am worried that my career is not progressing the way that I had thought.
Quite possibly, she had been deserted or lost midway, running frantically to reach her destination which was so far away. The moment I received the rejection letter, I felt deserted. My destination was miles away and here I was stranded midway.
How sad should one be when the realisation dawns that your alter ego is but a cow? I wasn’t because in her I found what I have always wanted to be, adaptable and self-sufficient. She was but navigating smoothly through the cars that blared their horns. Some cars they stopped to let her pass, others just sailed past often brushing against her, others missed hitting her by inches. But she survived with the grace of a dancer, throwing zig-zags and what bigger happiness then seeing your alter ego thrive.
I wish I could have shared my rejection with my soul sister. Dear cow, you are what enlightenment looks like, minus the lengthy meditation period. Different people take different things from the same situation. At the moment, what looks like “rough” to others, might just be our chance to grow and I am glad that even when we are swimming against the tides, we still remain the people who struggle and labour ahead, in the search of better pastures. We are the ones who inadvertently catch attention. You go girl!
Also, dear cow you re-enforced my belief in the deceptive nature of appearances. You were in terms of age, a baby but nowhere were you the kind of miniscule a baby should be! It took me quite some time to come to terms with the sheer discrepancy in your dimensions and your age. Not your fault, it seems discrepancy was the word god had in mind while creating the world which is why I ended up applying to universities which weren’t even wise enough to discern a talented girl like me from the applicant pool.
Anyhow I am pretty confident that we shall meet again, the next time we meet, you would have grown into a beautiful cow with big horns and a humongous source of milk and lean meat, as for me if all else fails, well I guess I will still be writing this blog.