fat

Motivation: the thing that keeps me from kicking the bucket….

‘Motivation’ can be broken down into ‘Moti’, which in Hindi means fat and ‘vation’ which means well, nothing, I admit to having a gluttony for all things fatty. The tendency to splurge on butter rich fatty items is evident from my body mass index, which is rising steadily every single day. So, how can I resist writing on a topic which starts with fat .I need motivation for all those things which need to be done but often I end up ignoring it for something far more desirable and less toiling . 

I admit that I am a “praise-loving, criticism hating” creature and I love it when people tell me how good I am. That is definitely one thing that makes me do things. As a child, I would often cut my play time short and study, tidy my things up just to hear my mom call me a “good girl”. If I were a drug addict, praise would be my Marijuana.  The day God decided to give me a vagina in place of a freaking penis, it was determined that I would be subject to certain stigmas which are absolute essentials for women (atleast in my society). So, I remain motivated to fight for a better future, not only because that would be my vendetta but also because that could be a much deserved gift to my vagina, which like its sisters across women, remains shrouded in prejudice inspite of being as faithful and useful as any penis could ever be. 

And most importantly, my Wish List. This is my bucket list of to-do things which I have to complete before I kick the bucket, most notably I want my childhood crush (read Shahrukh Khan, the Indian Tom Cruise, go google him. He might have wrinkles now but his smile melted my heart years ago) to dance at my wedding (I understand that he might not be in a position to dance then, considering he is already around 50 now, I could settle for a few pics with me in different poses) and I want to be able to buy real jewels and become the devil that wears the Prada. As you can see, all of my dreams are really expensive and so not being motivated is not an option.

So, this was how I remain motivated.  Now for some things that require my unfaltering zealous motivation

You must have heard about child marriages in India, as a child, I was married to the “eat less, eat healthy” philosophy, I even remember celebrating my 10th marriage anniversary through a huge celebration and a cake made of air and imagination. Everything was running smoothly but in the 14th year of our marriage, we had a big row over a cupcake. I do admit to having a bit of craving for that dashing piece of cupcake but trust me I had tried to remain faithful in the marriage for a very long time. So, unfortunately, I had this massive break up an year later. After which like all newly single people, I have had a roller coaster ride through the lanes of pizzas, cupcakes and savouries. Indulging in everything that tickles my taste buds. Anyways, I have heard my ex-husband fell in love with a 20 something supermodel and they both live in the posh “no-carb land”. The psychological effect on me of this break up was that for several years, I have lived with an expanding waist.  Now, in an attempt to join the neighbourhood of anorexic beauties, I have gone on a DIET, now this is something I need motivation for.  

Then on the other hand ,is the need to stay sane during this eternal gap year. The constant need to stay focussed on the shining scalpel at the end of the lane, a long lane which travels past interview experiences, the feeling of having messed it all up, the long wait for the much anticipated good news just like a constipated person waits for the familiar rumble in the stomach, the worst part being that there is no laxative to relax the stress of one’s career. This needs the constant zeal of a fanatic which unfortunately I don’t have.Sometimes, I even need motivation to take a bath. The incessant obligation one has towards the society to maintain a decent level of hygiene, forces me to leave my warm bed and soak myself, infact now on introspection, I think my whole existence is marked by my parent’s never ending  motivation to ‘let live’ no matter how worthless the life in question may be.

 

Last but not the least, the motivation to write this blog. Why, it most certainly is you! You, who had the patience and so much spare time to read through and reach the last paragraph. I admire you for your tenacity and would love to acquire your patience but I pray to God to give you the sense to work more and read less blogs for at the end of the day what matters is not just passive reading but also some action, for starters you could just click on the ‘like’ button below.